Hiruma an Elf?
by Photo shy HxS fan 2.0
Summary: X-mass fic Monta thinks Hiruma's an Elf. Sena is think's Monta is loseing his mind. Hiruma's talking to his mom.... Poor Sena will never know the truth. rated T for HirumaxSena and Hiruma's F word. Oneshot.


**Okay here's a little Christmas fic I came up with the other day. It's not good or anything, but just something to celebrate the holidays with.**

**And as you hopefully know I do not own Eyeshild 21 or any one in it, I however did come up with Hiruma's mom. So there XP**

**Keep in mind this fic was made a few days ago so the spelling might be a bit off, but the grammar should please you because I had some one go over it. **

"**Thank you Kanzen 712." You were a big help with getting this fic up and running before the holiday. Thank you for fixing it in such a short time frame.  
**

**Oh and for those of you who haven't read my fic Whistle spit to Banana kiss, this fic takes place some time after that one. There's like one reference to in this fic. But you don't have to read the other one first if you don't want to. **

**Well I think I covered everything here so enjoy!**

It was the last day of school before winter break and Sena and Monta were eating lunch in the cafeteria, when Monta suddenly brought up a new topic.

"I think Hiruma's an elf." Monta stated just as Sena took a mouth full of rice. Sena almost choked on his rice and was pretty sure some of it came out his nose.

"Excuse me?" Sena said not excusing himself from choking on his lunch but for hopefully mishearing Monta's statement.

"Elf, you know the kind with pointy ears and shoes, kind of short, help the big guy get ready for the holidays." Monta gestured with his hand on his chest showing Sena what he meant by 'short.'

Sena looked at him funny before stating that Hiruma, although having pointy ears, was not short.

When Sena told Monta this, Monta put it off and said Hiruma was a robot.

"But, I thought you said he was an elf?" Sena said not seeing how the blond could be both.

Monta explained to him that the real elf Hiruma was in the robots chest cavity, controlling the movement of the body.

Now Sena knew this wasn't true because there was no way a robot could kiss as good as Hiruma did. Or do other things.

(Not that Sena would tell his friend this, but after Monta left him in Hiruma's lair. Sena had run in to Hiruma and the blond had started coming on to him strongly. And one thing led to another and soon they were both in bed together.)

"Ya, that's what I thought too, but a few days ago I was getting ready to leave the clubhouse and I saw him making a list." Monta said.

"Monta that could mean anything, he could be grocery shopping for all you know." Sena logically explained.

"No, Sena, you don't get it." Monta scooted his chair closer to Sena before lowering his voice. Sena took a swig of his water bottle trying to calm his nerves; he had a bad feeling about where this was headed.

"He was checking the list." Monta whispered to him as if it was top secret.

Sena for the second time that day almost died in the cafeteria, this time almost drowning while drinking from his water bottle.

"Are you saying he's Santa?" Sena almost yelled.

"What? No, that's completely ludicrous. Hiruma only works for the big guy. You see Sena I got It all figured out. Santa doesn't make the list, he post his elf's around the world to mingle in with us. So that they can later report back to base, telling Santa who's been naughty or nice." Monta finished his theory proudly before adding something else in.

"I just have to find out how they're doing this. Do you think it has anything to do with that little black book Hiruma always has with him?" Monta blabbed on.

Sena had heard enough to know that Monta was no longer with him, mentally speaking.

"Monta I understand you…"

"That's great! I knew you would, everyone else was just looking at me like I was crazy or something." The mad monkey exclaimed happily.

Sena continued. "It's been I hard week for all of us, with training for the Christmas bowl and studying for the semester finals... so promise me you go home after school and get some rest. And don't worry, I'll talk to Hiruma for you, ok? Good! Well, I'm done eating now so I'm going to  
go." Sena got up be for Monta could saying thing else, and cleared his tray in the trashcan before heading to the clubhouse.

………….

Mean while, in the clubhouse, Hiruma was getting an e-mail from somewhere in the artic circle.

He hit 'open' and waited as the web cam window opened and a pretty blond woman, in what looked to be a green and red military uniform appeared, on the screen. Her hair was pulled back in to a tight bun and she wore thin-wired glasses that settled in front of her sharp, gleaming eyes. She looked more like a very strict teacher or secretary, not that anyone working with her would have the balls to say that to her face.

"Yoichi." The woman nodded as if that, in itself, was good for a formal meeting.

"Mother." Hiruma greeted her in the same tone that his mother had used.

The woman's face softened some as her personality did a complete 180.

"Oh, the way you call me that makes me sounds so old. Just call me Mom." She said smiling, while waving her hand, showing him her newly painted nails.  
They were red and green with little silver snowflakes and bells on them.

Hiruma rolled his eyes as his mother continued to talk.

"Oh, and by the way, how do you like my nails? I just had them done. I would have picked holly instead of snowflakes, but it's so hard to find something using only seasonal colors."

His mother quickly changed the subject. "I heard you have a boyfriend! Don't you look so surprised, you know you can't keep any thing form me. I did raise you after all. So how was it, being your first time and all? You weren't too hard the boy I hope."

Hiruma's face started to turn red as he heard his Mom talking about his sex life.

"Is there a reason you called me?" Hiruma asked getting extremely impatient and annoyed at how much his Mother knew about his personal life.

"Oh, I just called to tell you we got the list you sent us. I'll have all of them here ready to be put on the naughty list. You did good work son, though I wish you wouldn't use the list for your own gain." His Mother was referring too how Hiruma often used it to blackmail people.

"Is that all you need, because I'm sort busy here." Hiruma said as he started moving the mouse to the exit box of the live web cam feed.

His Mother said, as if knowing what her son was doing, quickly added in, "Someone has found you out. They know you working with us. I just wanted to tell you, I have some one taking care of it. Just in case, I'm sending you a photo of him now so you know what he looks like.

"Okay, Yoichi?"

If Hiruma hadn't looked up that moment he would have seen a photo of Monta looking back at him.

But instead of looking at the screen Hiruma stopped what he was doing and looked up at the clubhouse door, which was opening. He closed his laptop, automatically shutting the whole thing down. He'd have to get back to his Mother later.

"Hiruma?" Sena opened the door, and peaked in.

"What the fuck are you doing, chibi?" The blond asked as Sena came out from behind the door.

"Nothing, I thought I heard you talking with some one." Sena looked around the room.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there's no one else here at the moment." He said waiting for Sena to come close enough so he could pull the boy into his lap.

Sena blushed lightly and looked up at him. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"And what would that be?" The blond said patting Sena on the head.

"It's about Monta, can he skip practice today?"

Hiruma scowled, what was the fucking monkey thinking? Just because the he didn't have the balls to come to Hiruma himself didn't mean he could get away with making Sena ask Hiruma for him.

Sena, as if reading Hiruma's mind, than said, "Monta been studying to hard and I think It's starting to get to his head. He thinks that you're…" Sena stopped afraid to go on.

Hiruma lifted Sena's chin up now very intrigued. "He thinks I'm what?"

"Promise me you won't kill him first!" Sena begged.

Hiruma didn't answer at first, not intending to give his boyfriend that kind of promise. "I'll give him a head start."

"Hethinksyouranelfbecauseyouhavepointyearsandhesawyoumakingalist." Sena said in one mouth full. Giving time for Hiruma to think and if needed to run out of there and warn Monta Death was coming.

But unknown to Sena, Hiruma was able to translate what he said the moment it came out of his  
mouth. Hiruma knew Sena said, He thinks your an elf beuse you have pointy ears and he saw you making a list.

'He's not laughing, that's not a good sign, or is it?' Sena thought. As a look of realization came on the blond's face.

Hiruma got up so fast that he almost sent them both to the floor.

"Why don't you go make sure the fucking monkey gets home, okay? I need to make a call." Hiruma said in what sounded like a nervous tone as he quickly ushered Sena out of the clubhouse.

"SHIT!" Hiruma cursed after kicking his boy friend out of the clubhouse, he dug his phone out of his school bag and turned it on.

Hiruma quickly speed dialed his Mother, because when his mother took care of things, people often ended up _disappearing_.

Hiruma let lose a sigh of relive as the person on the other end of the line picked up.

The last thing the team needed was to be missing their receiver before the big game.

**Well? What do you think? To out there for ya?**

**If you didn't under stand what happened I'll tell you. Monta thought Hiruma was an elf. Hiruma's mom called Hiruma because she knew some one found out what Hiruma was doing (making the list for Santa). At the end Hiruma realized the person his mom was warning him about was Monta. So Hirma is trying to call her before she sends her elf squat team out to kill the monkey.**


End file.
